Where is the good in goodbye?

The school lost one of its family members yesterday. My colleague passed away due to liver complications. 

My heart goes to her family because of her five very young children. The eldest is the same age as Hazim, in standard 2 and the youngest is still a baby, barely one year old. Their mother was admitted at 3pm and passed on around 9pm. Masya Allah. We were at school that night for iftar and after I left, I received the shocking sms. I still feel like she's around because she was on sick leave most parts of this Ramadhan due to gastric. We'd never thought it'd be this serious but we always take people for granted, no?

Kak Murni was someone who was always calm and kind hearted. She was the secretary for a state-level event in our school and she never broke down in front of us despite all the stress, chaos and demands. I am one who always tease her and she will always laugh with me. Her husband just lost his father on Sunday and yesterday, his wife. Most of those who paid respect broke into tears seeing the young children playing and smiling, unknowingly that their mother is no longer around. Such a big responsibility to raise these young kids and the eldest daughter will surely be robbed of her childhood. I cannot stop thinking, what if they were my kids and I'm no longer alive. Semoga roh kak Murni dirahmati olehNya dan ditempatkan bersama mereka yang solihin.

I realized that kak Murni had many friends who came to pay their last respect. Family, neighbours, fellow teachers and students. So many prayed for her. I am always thankful to be posted in my school as I've mentioned again and again. I am placed among the pious ones who will always stop me from being astray. It's always fun to have friends to socialize at clubs painting the town red etc, but the friends I have now will be there for this world and the hereafter. The students I teach read the Quran to kill time. They use their recess time to perform Dhuha. I pray I never part from this holy world of mine.This is what matters. 

An ustaz remarked how we are easily distracted with worldly stuff, we complain about our petty salary, no bonus or increment and many more but do we ever sit down and think about the account we'd carry to the grave? Do we have enough if we are to die today? Ya Allah, I have been too busy. I work too hard til I'm too tired to perform anything but my obligations. Alhamdulillah for Ramadhan, I have found my peace but will it sustain for the other 11 months? Oh Allah please grant me a steadfast heart and determination.

I am the one who will delete her data in the staff portal.

I don't have the heart to do it just yet.